Struggling Polyamorist

So far, chemistry has been the most important factor in whether I pursued a relationship with a woman or not. There are many contributing factors to this "chemistry" thing! However, after all these years I still am not completely clear on what all factors are, and how it works (in me, not to talk about in others!) - even though I am always trying to analyze into the very details what is going on with me, and why, and how, and what! Lately, I have come to questioning, though, if chemistry is really that important, or that much of a good indicator. Since it is such a fickle thing, so unpredictable, so hard to influence, it is clearly not a guarantee for a relationship to continue, to develop, to turn longer term, and to function well.  What seems to be much better suited is commitment. It can easily be influenced, since it is not an emotional feeling, but an intellectual, rational decision. You decide to make your relationship a priority - higher than your emotional whims and t

 One of my  favorite bloggers  mentioned in a reply to a comment: "...I find that the older I get, the more my life is a puzzle and I am determined to try to fit the pieces together to avoid chaos and turbulence in my life." It got me thinking... I used this analogy already years back in my  Tool of the Universe blog , but today, a new aspect of the analogy occurred to me: Imagine, you're working on a huge puzzle - 10 million pieces or more. And, imagine, somebody told you it is a picture of a person (essentially: you). Whenever you look at a piece, obviously, you're trying to see how this piece is a part of the image of the person. Now, imagine further, that this puzzle is really not a picture of a person, but a photo-collage of anything of this beautiful world, a representation of everything and all there is to this whole world. I think you immediately understand, how pieces that before made no sense, suddenly become meaningful and useful! What you discarded earlier