Struggling Polyamorist

 Paolo Coelho, in his book Adultery, has the main character pondering that people, deep inside, have a loneliness that each of us is trying to deal with in the best way possible. I can not relate to much at all about this character, but this one aspect really triggered my thoughts. I am used to describe my "condition" as "wanting to experience always another deeper connection". But, looked at it from a different perspective, it is nothing but an existential loneliness, which is there, even when I am among loved ones, or among many people. No matter where I go, what I do, there is always this longing for linking up with another person, turning another stranger into a familiar person, getting to know somebody else, connecting to another soul.  I am convinced that all the spiritual ideas floating around the world have resulted from an experience of discomfort, followed by pondering, maybe even actions whose consequences are evaluated.  My choice of belief around "...

  Prolog - The Instincts Of all the instincts the two most powerful seem to be: “self-preservation” and “ensuring survival of the species”. Of those two, it seems to me, the instinct to ensure survival of the species even trumps the instinct of self-preservation. Why? Have you ever had a tooth-ache (or some other ailment), and gotten in a situation where your sexual attention was raised? When this happened to me, the ache always subsided - at least to a degree - for the duration of the sexual activity. Once this activity ended, the pain came back full force.   I interpret it like this: Pain is a mechanism used to ensure your own survival. It alerts you, that there’s something wrong with/for your body. Something needs your attention, a change of situation. However, when it is a matter of fulfilling the survival-of-the-species instinct, the others - including self-preservation - are dimmed. So, when there’s a chance the situation might develop in a way that might cause...