Loneliness - Connection - Closeness

 Paolo Coelho, in his book Adultery, has the main character pondering that people, deep inside, have a loneliness that each of us is trying to deal with in the best way possible.

I can not relate to much at all about this character, but this one aspect really triggered my thoughts.

I am used to describe my "condition" as "wanting to experience always another deeper connection". But, looked at it from a different perspective, it is nothing but an existential loneliness, which is there, even when I am among loved ones, or among many people. No matter where I go, what I do, there is always this longing for linking up with another person, turning another stranger into a familiar person, getting to know somebody else, connecting to another soul.

 I am convinced that all the spiritual ideas floating around the world have resulted from an experience of discomfort, followed by pondering, maybe even actions whose consequences are evaluated. 

My choice of belief around "soul", and "origin of soul", and such surely is also informed and shaped by the way I experience life and the world.

I believe, that a soul is something like a spoonful of tea, that was taken out of the tea-pot. It is separated from the rest, and - despite it being its choice to incarnated into a human animal on this planet - it is missing the comfort of being dissolved among all the tea in the pot.  

While it is separated from the origin, "trapped" in this person, stuck having to fight with this animal body to get that to work on the soul's mission, it is still longing for being whole again. Connecting with another person, on a deeper, soul-to-soul kind of level, is the closest it can come to being "home" again.

The interesting phenomena I observe is, that it is perfectly ok in our society to connect deeply with somebody else - as long as a certain type of physical activity is not part of the relationship.

This physical activity, however, is of utmost importance to the animal part of the person. It is what the strongest instinct - survival of the species - demands of us to do.

My observation is, that if there are both of the two levels of connectivity - soul-to-soul and animal-to-animal - included in a relationship, it is the most fulfilling, energizing, and a-musing. If, however, only one is implemented and the other is missing, the experience is only a small fraction as awesome. 

Sex without a deeper connection to the person is boring and utterly disappointing. A deep connection, where you also feel a strong sexual chemistry but are not allowed to get physical is rather torturous - much of the positive effect of the soul-to-soul is used-up by trying to prevent the physical connection.


Obviously, it is not possible to feel a deep connection with every person I meet. Nor is there sexual chemistry with every person I meet. The likelihood of both being in place is very slim - but, when it is happening, I do not want any outside force to impact it, prevent it...

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