Myth: The Concept of “Cheating”

 If a person, who is in a “committed” (in the misusing sense of the word) relationship, has sexual intercourse with another person, s/he is considered to be “cheating”.

A person, who is in such a “committed” relationship, and hasn’t spent any meaningful quality time with his/her spouse for a long time is not considered to be “cheating”.

Neither is a person considered to be “cheating”, who preoccupies his/her time with work, cleaning, sports, buddies, and so on, just so they don’t have to spend time with their spouse.

And, of course, somebody that is living next to their spouse without being emotionally connected or attached is not “cheating” either.

Well, that definition is a MYTH!

Cheating usually means: playing unfair, coning somebody or what is rightfully theirs.

If I am staying in a relationship with somebody, and demanding them to stay with me, even though there is no connection anymore, I am stealing their opportunity to go and look for somebody who would be good for them. To me, that is cheating!

If I am not making myself emotionally available to my spouse, I am cheating her out of the support and caring that is rightfully hers/his as my spouse!

If I am telling you to meet me at 6 and don’t show up until 6:30, I am cheating on you, as I am stealing your time and wasting it, discarding it as invaluable, as to low on my priority list.

If I am in a committed relationship with somebody, and I am not making love to her/him, in a way that s/he is feeling appreciated, and loved, and desired, and in a way where s/he is able to enjoy the activity (hopefully enough the reach orgasm), then I am cheating on her/him!

On the other hand, if I feel a deep connection with a person, and it feels the right thing for me to “make love” to that person, I don’t feel I am cheating on anybody! Even if there are more than one person in my life at one time, why are enjoying (and or are in need of) being physically connecting with me.

I am not cheating you you by what I do to and with somebody else, but by what I do and don’t do with you!

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