Stop focusing on what you want

 What?!? Why?!? Isn't that how you get what you want? Isn't that how you shape your future?

Well, that's what a whole slew of self-help books and "spiritual guides" try to make you believe.

In my experience, however, the "wants" are a very dangerous thing. They have the great potential of preventing you from receiving what is sent your way - basically, hindering your life!

When mail arrives and you're waiting for a particular letter, chances are, that you put away all other letters without even looking at them carefully. There might be an invitation from an old friend to visit them on an island in the Caribbean - but you missed it, because you were so focused on only what you were looking for.

Imagine you're in a hotel, in a long corridor of doors to various rooms. If you're set on getting into room number 135 you might be knocking on that door, even banging on it. But, if you're not supposed to get into this room, the door won't open, no matter what you do. The real issue, though, is that you won't notice any other door that opens, you don't notice any people walking in and out of other rooms either. 

My experience is, that I really do not know what is best for me. My wants are based on ignorance, and short-term, immediate desires. What is being sent my way is what is good for me in the long run. The short-term desires are fulfilled as a side-effect, too.

The fundamental question to ask yourself is this: who is in control of where my life is heading, and who is in control of what is happening in detail on a daily basis?

It seems, to most people the answers to these questions in order are: "me", and "something/someone other than me". My experience and observation, however, indicates that it is exactly the other way around!

The Universe (God, Allah, Great Spirit, whatever you call it) seems to be in charge of where my life is heading. It brings me into situations to teach me the lessons I need to learn, and to enable me to make a contribution. What I do on a day to day basis, the details, those are up to me. That's where my "fee will" applies.

To use another analogy: When you're taking a bus to get from A to B, you have no control of what route the driver is taking. And still, you can choose to focus on the traffic, the directional signs, the speed the bus is moving,  and fret about the driver turning left when you think the bus should continue straight. Does it impact where the bus is going? Not at all! No matter how upset you are getting. No matter, how much you "want" things to change!

Alternatively, you can let the driver do their job and yourself look out the window and enjoy the scenery, or strike up a conversation with a fellow traveller.

Of course, as long as you believe you are the driver, you will never be able to enjoy the scenery, no matter what anybody tells you, no matter how many people are telling you to do so! 

So, I'm not telling you to enjoy the scenery; I am encouraging you to think about who's the driver, and what are really your options.

Once you answer that question, it will be at least possible - if not easy - to work on reprogramming your autopilot, to focus on "what is" instead of the futile focus on "what you want".

And, once you do that, your life will improve dramatically! 

On the one hand, because you'll start seeing the magic of what IS coming your way. And on the other hand, because you are not getting frustrated and self-doubting, and depressed about not getting what you want...


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